Breathe....

Not only did I start my journey off in a rush I started this blog in a rush as well.  As I’ve been traveling throughout BC, I noticed that I was still functioning in high gear.  Not so much in mind…one thing about traveling to places you’ve never been to is that it forces you to be really present.  Especially when traveling alone.  I think this is why time seems to slow when your in unfamiliar territory. Your mind doesn’t have a chance to wander as much. As a matter of fact it was this very phenomena that turned my attention to how I was reacting to my sabbatical.

I wasn’t taking my time.  I wasn’t stopping at things I found interesting.  I just wanted to go go go.  Part of that is I absolutely love to drive.  I’ve never owned a car before (thanks to Dad I now do) and the freedom that comes with it is absolutely exhilarating.  The very fact that I can drive a 100 kms in an hour hurtling down a paved/sometimes gravel road in a hunk of metal is a bloody miracle!! I can go anywhere, stop any time, leave at any time…WOW! So what do I do…I take on the characteristics of old family patterns.  Meaning…”Let’s just get there and THEN relax.”  Right…how about just relax.

Learning to drive mindfully is one of my new practices.  Not just the function of driving itself, but paying attention to those intuitions of exploration and allowing for spontaneity.

For the first 3 nights I felt rushed.  It’s been a very busy, intense spring.  Packing up and leaving Toronto, Dad suddenly passing away, having to go back to Toronto, then to Grand Forks where Dad lived, back to Ontario for my internship in the Haliburton Forest, finding and losing love, back to Toronto for a brief visit, finally signing my severance package with U of T, finding God, after 38 years in Toronto leaving it for...I don’t like to say forever cause you never know…but certainly for a great length of time…then back to Grand Forks to pack up Dad’s place, then....Deep breath…..??????  OK release.  Stop. Ground.  OK.  Start to move slowly and mindfully.

A while back I decided I was going to explore the different retreat centres of BC.  If and when I come back from traveling I wanted a place to come back to where I can serve in community.  I will not go back to a life of separation, where I’m stuck in my own space, working for a system that doesn’t work, fueling the corporate fires of greed, where love and relationships come in dead last and money, desire and status take precedence.

I want to live in a community where supporting one another and sharing resources is the fundamental base for living.  Where people work and live together forming healthy relationships in honesty and awareness to promote the good, true and beautiful in coexistence with the land and not raping it.  Where the main focus is the exploration of the heart/soul and mind to promote conscious awareness and evolutionary growth.  Yes these places do exist and Quantum Leaps Lodge is one of them.  This was certainly spontaneous as it wasn’t initially on my list but certainly on my retreat radar.  Stepping onto the property sent me into instant Samadhi.

Quantum Leaps Lodge, makes the most sweetest, heart-warming, fairytale landscape seem like a war-zone.  The shear power and beauty of the place dropped me to my knees in utter surrender and gratitude.  I stayed in the sacred space of the River Room where from every angle you are surrounded and held gracefully by the mountains.  Right outside the door is the Blaeberry river, that sings it sweet song day and night. The waters of it a healing elixir of renewing energy and love. Nirvana. 

View from the River Room

You have no choice but to slow down on this land.  It seems to do it for you.  Time does not exist there.  Everything is in perfect rhythm.  The deep sense of Emptiness disappears and as the sign at the entrance says…” I AM THAT I AM”.  Not two…not one…complete Unity.

Gateway to Quantum Leaps Lodge

I once again began breathing deeply, getting back into my regular sitting practice and eating habits, decompressing all that has transpired and releasing it to the River and letting it wash everything away.  In order to slow my travel speed down I felt called to go horseback riding.  Bear Corner Bed and Bale was literally right around the corner.  Giddy Up!  My guide took me and the owner of Quantum Leaps on a journey through the woods, down and through the river and back up the valley to the ranch. This is the only way to travel.  I would love to trade the Sonata in for a horse.  Unspeakable beauty and companionship.  I cried in gratitude and reverence the entire time.   This without a doubt brought me back to all my senses and grounded me in the most profound way.  Reconnecting to my Self and the Land. Ultimate Freedom! 

While at QL I was given the message that I am an ambassador, a weaver of webs.  A message I’m quite familiar with now.  Learning to continuously keep an open heart/mind, care for and respect each person I meet and place I go to, and then let it all go, is also my new sadhana.  One that I greatly accept and honour.  

Back on the road today feeling like a brand new person, my entire body breathing in unison with the ebb and flow of Life.  Today’s drive should have taken 5 hours.  I took 8. Stopping to look, listen, smell and breathe in all that Is.  Now that my camera batter is charged again, photos will be back on that list too.

I am continuing my retreat centre tour of the west and will be spending a week or so in Johnsons Landing Retreat Centre.  They are friends with Quantum Leap and looking for community members.  I enter this new place with a stilled and open heart and mind.  Who knows one day I may land here…

More photos of Quantum Leap..

The Garden and Chickens

Contemplation bench

River Room and Sweat Lodge

Self Portrait

River Spirit

Sacred Labyrinth

Prayer Flags

Teepee Accomodation

Young Kokanee Salmon