When I first heard of Cortes I immediately thought of pirates and treasure. A mysterious little island in the North Pacific that little is know about and yet when you hear the name it draws you in like a well told tale. Well, I have discovered that Cortes is definitely magical and mysterious and there is extremely valuable treasure to be found here. What's funny is that you are both the map and the treasure, the Island is the energetic key to unlocking it all. I've been pirated by this land and it’s raking me through the coals. Although the treasure, the gold within me, hasn't been completely unearthed as of yet, I'm finding a trail of clues in the sea, sky and land that will hopefully lead to it's full discovery.
It’s taken me a long time to sort out what has been happening to me on Cortes. When I first arrived I was in very good spirits and fairly balanced considering all that has transpired in my life in the last year. Within a week I started to feel more and more depressed and entered a rather dark space. I didn’t like the Island at all and couldn’t seem to connect to it in the way others were raving about. I couldn’t feel the magic. The Island is very beautiful but I was totally ambivalent about it. For one, I was having a hard time connecting to nature, which for me is extremely scary. Strange.
I did find out that the room I was staying in was used to do energy work by the previous volunteers. There were a few nights were I was woken up by the sensation of being pushed. I told one of my roommates and they gave me some copal to cleanse the room. It took me about 45 minutes to do it but the energy did shift. I also smudged myself and felt better. However the next day I was sick with a cold and it also wasn’t the answer or end to my decent into darkness.
For the first time in a very, very long time, I couldn’t get a grasp on my inner journey. I felt frustrated because every time I thought I moved through whatever was paining me, I felt OK for a short while and then I would be thrown off kilter again. This has gone on for weeks. Usually when I’m being dismantled, or triggered by something or someone, I have a fairly good idea as to what’s going on and work on it. For some reason I wasn’t able to even begin to figure this out.
A couple of nights ago at 3 am under a full moon, a two male dear started to fight. I watched them from my bedroom window in our yard. They chased each other in the yard, smashing their heads together, entangling their horns, pushing and pulling one another back and forth. It was incredibly graceful, powerful and beautiful to watch. And I also began to understand the symbology of it. It was a representation of the struggle within me, between heart, head and spirit and the struggle I have with male energies. All of this being held under the feminine power of the moon.
It was then began to see and feel that the Goddess was at work. She is very much alive in the land and the land is dismantling me and pushing me further and deeper into consciousness than I've ever gone before. She was working me over and raking me through the coals bringing things up that needed to be addressed and released. Cortes Island is indeed very, VERY, powerful, magical and mystical. You can either come here and feel total cathartic peace and love like my roommates, or you will be completely dismantled and purified by the heart’s fire like me and some others I know.
Either way this Island will give you exactly what you need to further your evolutionary process whether you like it or not. I'm being torn apart in ways I never imagined. And as much as I want to leave...it is like the Bermuda Triangle here. First, it’s magical, magnetic energy completely threw my inner and outer compasses off, I felt and feel directionless. Then my energies, mind and heart where scrambled so intensely I couldn't get a hold of anything. As much as I wanted to leave and never come back, the Island mystically holds you until it is done with you whether you like it or not.
Now that I know the power of this place and what I'm dealing with, I ask the Goddess what I need to surrender and I give it to her without question. Sometimes it is the male God energy, and sometimes it is the Goddess. I am often on my knees in dirt, sand, water, and rock in excruciating pain sometimes not even knowing what I’m crying or screaming about, just trusting that what is being done is for the Greater Good. Purification.
I do feel like I’m letting go centuries of pain and suffering. I feel like I’m cleansing and purging everything. I also feel that a right-of-passage is taking place, emerging slowly and gently . With both my parents having passed on, along with all my grand-parents, I feel like a changing of the guards is taking place and not just for me, but for my generation. We are now the one's who will be holding the container for the younger generations below us. We are now becoming the Keepers of Knowledge and Wisdom. The Boomers have done their job. It is now my/our responsibility to ensure life lessons are passed along. I feel that this is part of the transition that is taken place in me and on earth which is why so many people are in transition and/or traveling around looking for spiritual refuge. I feel like it is time for me to take my place in that puzzle wherever and whatever that looks like.
Now that I have a firmer grip on what is transpiring here I’m more willing to go through the experience openly. I’m also more grounded. I’m hoping to take a right of passage ceremony with a Peruvian Shaman who just happens to live on the Island. This will help with all the transitions I am going through and hopefully unlock the things in me that need to be released that I cannot access on my own. This will be happening in the next couple of weeks.
So indeed Cortes is a magical mystical place. Treasure, pure gold, can be found here. You just have to dig in your own heart to find it. Believe me…the land will do it’s part to support you. Sometimes it can be found easily, sometimes you have to pay the price. Either way, it’s well worth the adventure if you are seeking to find the Truth within yourself.
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