Treasure Island

When I first heard of Cortes I immediately thought of pirates and treasure.  A mysterious little island in the North Pacific that little is know about and yet when you hear the name it draws you in like a well told tale.  Well, I have discovered that Cortes is definitely magical and mysterious and there is extremely valuable treasure to be found here. What's funny is that you are both the map and the treasure, the Island is the energetic key to unlocking it all.  I've been pirated by this land and it’s raking me through the coals. Although the treasure, the gold within me, hasn't been completely unearthed as of yet, I'm finding a trail of clues in the sea, sky and land that will hopefully lead to it's full discovery.

It’s taken me a long time to sort out what has been happening to me on Cortes.  When I first arrived I was in very good spirits and fairly balanced considering all that has transpired in my life in the last year.  Within a week I started to feel more and more depressed and entered a rather dark space.  I didn’t like the Island at all and couldn’t seem to connect to it in the way others were raving about. I couldn’t feel the magic. The Island is very beautiful but I was totally ambivalent about it.  For one, I was having a hard time connecting to nature, which for me is extremely scary.  Strange.

I did find out that the room I was staying in was used to do energy work by the previous volunteers.  There were a few nights were I was woken up by the sensation of being pushed.  I told one of my roommates and they gave me some copal to cleanse the room.  It took me about 45 minutes to do it but the energy did shift.  I also smudged myself and felt better.  However the next day I was sick with a cold and it also wasn’t the answer or end to my decent into darkness.

For the first time in a very, very long time, I couldn’t get a grasp on my inner journey. I felt frustrated because every time I thought I moved through whatever was paining me, I felt OK for a short while and then I would be thrown off kilter again.  This has gone on for weeks.  Usually when I’m being dismantled, or triggered by something or someone, I have a fairly good idea as to what’s going on and work on it.  For some reason I wasn’t able to even begin to figure this out.

A couple of nights ago at 3 am under a full moon, a two male dear started to fight.  I watched them from my bedroom window in our yard. They chased each other in the yard, smashing their heads together, entangling their horns, pushing and pulling one another back and forth.  It was incredibly graceful, powerful and beautiful to watch.  And I also began to understand the symbology of it.  It was a representation of the struggle within me, between heart, head and spirit and the struggle I have with male energies.  All of this being held under the feminine power of the moon.

It was then began to see and feel that the Goddess was at work.  She is very much alive in the land and the land is dismantling me and pushing me further and deeper into consciousness than I've ever gone before.  She was working me over and raking me through the coals bringing things up that needed to be addressed and released.  Cortes Island is indeed very, VERY, powerful, magical and mystical.  You can either come here and feel total cathartic peace and love like my roommates, or you will be completely dismantled and purified by the heart’s fire like me and some others I know.

Either way this Island will give you exactly what you need to further your evolutionary process whether you like it or not.  I'm being torn apart in ways I never imagined.  And as much as I want to leave...it is like the Bermuda Triangle here.  First, it’s magical, magnetic energy completely threw my inner and outer compasses off, I felt and feel directionless.  Then my energies, mind and heart where scrambled so intensely I couldn't get a hold of anything. As much as I wanted to leave and never come back, the Island mystically holds you until it is done with you whether you like it or not.

Now that I know the power of this place and what I'm dealing with, I ask the Goddess what I need to surrender and I give it to her without question. Sometimes it is the male God energy, and sometimes it is the Goddess. I am often on my knees in dirt, sand, water, and rock in excruciating pain sometimes not even knowing what I’m crying or screaming about, just trusting that what is being done is for the Greater Good.  Purification.

I do feel like I’m letting go centuries of pain and suffering.  I feel like I’m cleansing and purging everything.  I also feel that a right-of-passage is taking place, emerging slowly and gently .  With both my parents having passed on, along with all my grand-parents,  I feel like a changing of the guards is taking place and not just for me, but for my generation. We are now the one's who will be holding the container for the younger generations below us. We are now becoming the Keepers of Knowledge and Wisdom.  The Boomers have done their job.  It is now my/our responsibility to ensure life lessons are passed along.  I feel that this is part of the transition that is taken place in me and on earth which is why so many people are in transition and/or traveling around looking for spiritual refuge.  I feel like it is time for me to take my place in that puzzle wherever and whatever that looks like.

Now that I have a firmer grip on what is transpiring here I’m more willing to go through the experience openly.  I’m also more grounded.  I’m hoping to take a right of passage ceremony with a Peruvian Shaman who just happens to live on the Island.  This will help with all the transitions I am going through and hopefully unlock the things in me that need to be released that I cannot access on my own. This will be happening in the next couple of weeks.

So indeed Cortes is a magical mystical place.  Treasure, pure gold, can be found here.  You just have to dig in your own heart to find it.  Believe me…the land will do it’s part to support you. Sometimes it can be found easily, sometimes you have to pay the price.  Either way, it’s well worth the adventure if you are seeking to find the Truth within yourself.

Wander's Unite

In the last 3 weeks of traveling and spending time at retreat centres, almost everyone I’ve talked to has left there lives behind and took to the road in seek of…something.  I’m sure that this phenomena isn’t new and I am aware that people have been wandering around the globe for centuries.  However, what I think is different about this day and age of traveling is there is a need, a real urgent need to find different ways of living.  It seems to be no longer about just traveling and seeing different places.

These aren’t left over hippies looking to get away from “the Man”.  These are people, young and old who are aware of shifts in not only their own consciousness but, something much deeper, other forces driving a good portion of us to find, in a way, spiritual refuge.  There are a number of people waking up to the fact that the way that most societies are completely dysfunctional and not sustainable and we can't go on living the way we do. More and more people are, instead of taking up activism to disperse their frustrations, are turning inward and battling their own daemons, walking the walk instead of talking the talk.  And because there are very few safe places where one can do personal work , many are hitting the road seeking out spiritual safe havens.  When I look at what’s going on, it’s almost like animals fleeing a burning forest, having to rebuild by starting at the beginning.

These retreat centres are popping up all over the place.  There is a great need for these types of places. These retreats are not just offering a place just to “be” and explore the inner realms, but places where learning to work together for right-livelihood is also key.  Getting back to the basics of growing all your own food, saving seeds, learning about foods and herbs natural properties and learning to cook and prepare them properly, helping build shelters, homes and healing spaces, learning about the land and it’s cycles, helping and building relationships with neighbors and strangers…The centres are really about what it means to be human. 

Money is hardly exchanged.  People work for their food and shelter or they offer their services in exchange for services they need.  Everyone works together for the common good.  However, it isn’t as utopian as it sounds.  These places survive by trial and error.  Some work really well and some don’t.  People’s egos and shadows show up and can corrupt the whole situation.  When most people are conditioned to live in a particular way…say, go to school, get a stable secure job, earn money to buy the material things you “think” you need such as a house a car and stuff to fill them with…it’s hard to let go and live a different lifestyle that doesn’t require ownership of much.  Not to say that the mentioned lifestyle is wrong, or nobody should live that way.  It’s perfectly fine.  But if you do want to step out of that, the old ways die hard.

What is unique about most of these particular places is they try to work all that stuff out.  They provide space to unpack all of the conditioned belief systems and old behavioral patterns that prevent most of us from truly living.  And of course this isn’t as easy as it sounds because we are all in different places in our own evolution.  What is interesting is the number of people who are finding an urgency to “get out of the system” while they can and star living more meaningful lives.

There are many of us just wandering around seeking to live differently and also wanting to make a positive impact on society.  Perhaps if more and more people started to walk away from “Big Brother’s” control, the powers that be would have to start making changes themselves.  All I know is that something has to be done.  Something has to change.  The only thing I know how to do is change myself first.  I’m happy that I have many traveling companions who are on the same journey as I am.  I’m hoping that even when we separate, we will still stay in touch, widening the webs of light.  Encouraging and supporting each other, knowing that what we are doing isn’t futile or a waste of time.  Times are changing quite quickly and I think that the key to our survival is to live more authentically, being connected through community by being in real contact, in real relationships, without relying on technology (yes I see the irony here).

I have no idea where any of this is going. I felt a sense of urgency before I started traveling.  Seeing how many people are on the road searching for spiritual refuge, grounds my feelings in reality.  It’s nice to unite with like hearted/minded souls though…wherever it is that we are going both as individuals but as a collective force. What kinda blows me away is, I haven't even left my country yet!!