Internet isn't as easily accessible as I thought it would be. Particularly in New Zealand. If your in a cafe you get one hour free then it is anywhere from $1 to $4 for 15 minutes. So, unfortunately I'm not online as often as I though. Which is probably a good thing. Any I will post more than photos soon. Finding time to charge batteries in full hostels isn't easy at times either.
Anyway I'll have more for you soon!
February 26, 2012
February 23, 2012
Fiji
Photo's from Fiji!! Will right about it soon.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/visionlesswitness/sets/72157629059947818/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/visionlesswitness/sets/72157629059947818/
February 16, 2012
Challenges
One week in to my trip and I’m feeling transformed already. Although I was in Hawaii, it was a tough start. It’s hard to put into words the process I am still going though. It’s amazing how resistant I am to severe change. All I wanted to do when I got to Hawaii was go home. Even after meeting Ellen and exploring the absolute beauty of the Big Island of Hawaii, I would still wake up in the mornings wanting to be back in Canada. Actually I wanted someone to be with me to help take the edge off. It’s the first time in a long time that I felt incredibly lonely.
These feelings gradually started to go away as I keep physically busy. I also let the energy of the Island peel away my resistance and let it support me. What I found funny was that when I got to Cortes, most people felt peace and joy and I was dismantled and eventually came to peace. When I got to Hawaii, I felt Pele welcome and hold me where as others were being dismantled. Even though I felt welcomed there, Hawaii challenged me physically. Ellen a wonderful Canadian/America woman I met at the hostel, was a climber and very physically fit. Within a day of being with her I knew that I entered some kind of boot camp to get into shape.
Some of the hikes we did were very physically demanding. I knew that I was being tested physically and that it was important that I push myself as hard as I could. Thankfully, not only was Ellen physical fit, she was incredibly supportive and encouraging. I knew that I needed to get in better shape if I am to travel the world. I needed to learn to contain and control the energy that is going through my body and not fear it. When I get scared I don't want to move and it creates many problems for me physically, mentally and emotionally. As I hiked, swam and kayaked, I had to really focus on my breathing, allowing all my experience to be fully integrated and not to dissociate from the feelings I was having.
It wasn’t just the physical activity that helped me move through my fears. The Big Island of Hawaii is a magnificent island geologically in the fact that it is still being born. The active volcanoes are creating new land almost daily. What is interesting is that even though eruptions have devastated the land, it is creating land at the same time. Much of the ground is volcanic rock and ash and you can feel the life force shifting under your feet. But, then as you look around you start to see life. Green life, emerging out of black, baked hardening rock. It’s absolutely phenomenal to see the birth of the earth, creation itself at work. After watching the news and seeing the destruction that man is doing to our Mother Gaia, to come to Hawaii and see and feel the living, breathing force of the planet we live on gave me a renewed sense of hope. This planet IS ALIVE and you can witness it breathing on Hawaii.
The Creative spark of primal life, giving birth to Earth and seeing it’s painful yet beautiful process made me realize that human’s too are constantly going through the same cycles. We are always growing, expanding, shedding and renewing ourselves. We are always dying in some form and being reborn again. Not just psychologically, but biologically as well. We follow the same process as earth and even though it’s painful and destructive at times, it is also very beautiful and magical. Being in Hawaii helped me to understand and integrate my own growth.
I’m extremely grateful for this island and Ellen for helping me to push beyond all my boundaries and see that even though I am in a constant flux of change, a solid foundation for the future is emerging.
I can feel a difference within myself already. I arrived in Fiji late last night and discovered that my hostel wasn't a hostel and that it was really quite remote. There was a price discrepancy for the rate, and they said I needed to pay for WIFI. Plus there are only two other guest here so it makes it hard to meet other travelers. Oh and I realized that the converter I bought for my laptop doesn't work.
I could feel the familiar feelings of wanting to come home arise. I also felt incredibly lonely. Breathe. I just dealt with things as they came up. Even though Fijians speak English it isn't very good. I had moments this morning of wanting to go home, however, as the day wears on it is dissipating. One of the messages I got while on Cortes is to stay grounded and stay connected. I'm doing just that. The staff here are very friendly and helpful. One even gave me a converter to use. After talking to Ali, I felt better about being here.
It's amazing how I can change my state of mind just by changing the way I think and also by being gentle with myself. I'm still not sure about traveling. It's not as romantic as I hoped it would be. It is a challenge and I'm grateful that I've always been able to meet them head on.
February 12, 2012
February 08, 2012
Much Better
So after I wrote that last post I got up and went into the kitchen feeling like I was gonna pack it in and head back to Cortes. However, I got talking to one of the girls I met last night and as it turned out she rented a car. Things started to look up. She then said she was going to go kayaking and snorkeling. I asked to tag along.
OH MY GOD WHAT A DAY!! We went to the Captain Cook Monument that isn't far from the hostel. When we got there a couple of local guys asked us if we needed help to get the kayak in the water. For $5. You had to drop the kayak into the water from a wharf that was about 3 feet high then jump in. Yikes. We attempted it on our own. After successfully getting in without tipping it, we paddled out into the ocean.
This was my first time actually kayaking and swimming in an ocean!! (Actually the first time I was in the ocean was on Cortes but it was a very quick dip as the Pacific in the north was only 10 degrees.) As we paddled out we had a school of spinner dolphins come up to the boat. I started to cry. They were so beautiful and playful. We followed them for about 45 minutes. The day just got better and better from there. Swimming with the fish and manta rays, watching humped back whales jump and dance in the water. Then beer and pizza on a patio at sunset. It was a totally magical, beautiful transforming day. It was the perfect day to begin a new life. I started to let go of the fear of uncertainty and decided that not knowing what the day will bring can be pretty fun.
Ok...traveling isn't so bad after all. I still can't believe I'm in Hawaii. I still need to open up and learn to not be so fearful. It will come with time.
One thing I was aware of today is how bloody cautious I've become. I was usually the first person to jump in to do something adventurous. Now I'm the one saying "I don't know..we may get in trouble, or we shouldn't be doing this or whatever....And nothing that would really land me in any legal or physical trouble. Nor anything that is really irresponsible either. Somewhere along the way I feel I've lost the spontaneous adventurous edge I loved. I'm not sure what happened. If this is what it means to get older than I don't want a part of it.
Photos of the day on Flicker. Unfortunately I didn't have a waterproof camera and didn't get any fish, dolphin or whale shots. :-(
OH MY GOD WHAT A DAY!! We went to the Captain Cook Monument that isn't far from the hostel. When we got there a couple of local guys asked us if we needed help to get the kayak in the water. For $5. You had to drop the kayak into the water from a wharf that was about 3 feet high then jump in. Yikes. We attempted it on our own. After successfully getting in without tipping it, we paddled out into the ocean.
This was my first time actually kayaking and swimming in an ocean!! (Actually the first time I was in the ocean was on Cortes but it was a very quick dip as the Pacific in the north was only 10 degrees.) As we paddled out we had a school of spinner dolphins come up to the boat. I started to cry. They were so beautiful and playful. We followed them for about 45 minutes. The day just got better and better from there. Swimming with the fish and manta rays, watching humped back whales jump and dance in the water. Then beer and pizza on a patio at sunset. It was a totally magical, beautiful transforming day. It was the perfect day to begin a new life. I started to let go of the fear of uncertainty and decided that not knowing what the day will bring can be pretty fun.
Ok...traveling isn't so bad after all. I still can't believe I'm in Hawaii. I still need to open up and learn to not be so fearful. It will come with time.
One thing I was aware of today is how bloody cautious I've become. I was usually the first person to jump in to do something adventurous. Now I'm the one saying "I don't know..we may get in trouble, or we shouldn't be doing this or whatever....And nothing that would really land me in any legal or physical trouble. Nor anything that is really irresponsible either. Somewhere along the way I feel I've lost the spontaneous adventurous edge I loved. I'm not sure what happened. If this is what it means to get older than I don't want a part of it.
Photos of the day on Flicker. Unfortunately I didn't have a waterproof camera and didn't get any fish, dolphin or whale shots. :-(
Do I really want to do this?
Day one and I want to go home.
As I left Vancouver yesterday morning I felt excited to get on the plane. I was finally going to travel and see some of the world. Meeting new people and seeing different places seemed like a wonderful idea. Looking down at the enormity of the piercing blue Pacific ocean I felt very small. Especially when I spotted a cruise ship that looked like a grain of rice. Even though I was appreciating the beauty and the fact that I am sitting in a hunk of metal flying through the air, I wanted to turn around and go home.
I feel incredibly lonely all ready and I all I want to do is stay in bed. The Big Island is incredibly hard to get around if you don't have a car. There is a bus but only runs a couple of times a day. You can hitchhike however, I've heard from other people in the hostel it's not that easy here. I'm realizing I better get use to being in the middle of nowhere and figuring out how to get where I want to go.
I'm also aware of not knowing what to do with my stuff. Meaning when I go to the beach, where do I leave stuff. I don't quite know the rule of traveling yet.
I feel sick to my stomach right now and feel I made a huge mistake doing this trip. I know this is an egoic response and that dealing with my fear and uncomfortableness is all part of the process. For the first time in a very long time I just wish I had someone to take care of me and tell me what to do and how to do it. To bee with me in these times of uncertainty, hold and comfort me.
Perhaps I just made a really costly mistake. I think I would have preferred staying on the west coast safe and secure where things are familiar. I'm sure this is just fear I'm experiencing and once I start connecting with people and doing things I'll be fine. Right now though, all I want to do is hide. Of course I've never hidden for long and love a good challenge. I know this will only open me up and push me to grow and evolve in ways I never expected. Growing up is never easy even when it takes the form of something as fun as travel. Quite a paradox.
I'm sure my first trip to the beach will cure this. I hope!
As I left Vancouver yesterday morning I felt excited to get on the plane. I was finally going to travel and see some of the world. Meeting new people and seeing different places seemed like a wonderful idea. Looking down at the enormity of the piercing blue Pacific ocean I felt very small. Especially when I spotted a cruise ship that looked like a grain of rice. Even though I was appreciating the beauty and the fact that I am sitting in a hunk of metal flying through the air, I wanted to turn around and go home.
I feel incredibly lonely all ready and I all I want to do is stay in bed. The Big Island is incredibly hard to get around if you don't have a car. There is a bus but only runs a couple of times a day. You can hitchhike however, I've heard from other people in the hostel it's not that easy here. I'm realizing I better get use to being in the middle of nowhere and figuring out how to get where I want to go.
I'm also aware of not knowing what to do with my stuff. Meaning when I go to the beach, where do I leave stuff. I don't quite know the rule of traveling yet.
I feel sick to my stomach right now and feel I made a huge mistake doing this trip. I know this is an egoic response and that dealing with my fear and uncomfortableness is all part of the process. For the first time in a very long time I just wish I had someone to take care of me and tell me what to do and how to do it. To bee with me in these times of uncertainty, hold and comfort me.
Perhaps I just made a really costly mistake. I think I would have preferred staying on the west coast safe and secure where things are familiar. I'm sure this is just fear I'm experiencing and once I start connecting with people and doing things I'll be fine. Right now though, all I want to do is hide. Of course I've never hidden for long and love a good challenge. I know this will only open me up and push me to grow and evolve in ways I never expected. Growing up is never easy even when it takes the form of something as fun as travel. Quite a paradox.
I'm sure my first trip to the beach will cure this. I hope!
February 06, 2012
February 05, 2012
Don't Panic
Lesson number one in traveling, taken from one of my favourite books by Douglas Adams The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...Don't Panic. I've spent the past week in a state of semi panic, fear and frustration. All for not. It's amazing the range of emotions that I've already gone through.
Oh, I have my passport and my Indian visa and will be taking off for Hawaii Monday morning. All is a go. Phhheww!
I now see why people spend at least 4 months planning an around the world trip instead of 3 weeks. There's a lot of bureaucratic crap that needs to be taken care of before one leaves. Then there is the packing and re packing and re-re packing, getting rid of more stuff, buying other stuff, getting vaccinations (my arms still hurt), finding herbal remedies, making last minute calls, watching money leave my account like it's an open drain....BREATHE!!!!
Panicking is never good. Not that I was actually in a state of panic, but frustrated enough to begin to think I should have never booked this trip. Or at least so many countries. Perhaps India or New Zealand would have been good enough. I was told though to get use to the inconsistency of information while traveling. OK fine. I HAVEN'T LEFT YET!!!! Don't panic. Gotchya. Everything happens for a reason. I got my first lesson..notes and drinks taken...don't panic
Oh...wait...what do I do with my car!!!!
Oh, I have my passport and my Indian visa and will be taking off for Hawaii Monday morning. All is a go. Phhheww!
I now see why people spend at least 4 months planning an around the world trip instead of 3 weeks. There's a lot of bureaucratic crap that needs to be taken care of before one leaves. Then there is the packing and re packing and re-re packing, getting rid of more stuff, buying other stuff, getting vaccinations (my arms still hurt), finding herbal remedies, making last minute calls, watching money leave my account like it's an open drain....BREATHE!!!!
Panicking is never good. Not that I was actually in a state of panic, but frustrated enough to begin to think I should have never booked this trip. Or at least so many countries. Perhaps India or New Zealand would have been good enough. I was told though to get use to the inconsistency of information while traveling. OK fine. I HAVEN'T LEFT YET!!!! Don't panic. Gotchya. Everything happens for a reason. I got my first lesson..notes and drinks taken...don't panic
Oh...wait...what do I do with my car!!!!
February 01, 2012
Let the Games Begin
I haven't even left yet and I'm running into problems!!!! Just after I booked my trip I contacted the Indian Consulate numerous times to find out the fastest and easiest way to get a visa. Each time I was told something different, but the one consistent message I received was that it was possible to get it in three days if you go directly to the Consulate in Vancouver. So instead of mailing things in, I waited until I got to Van. This gave me a week before I left for Hawaii. Plenty of time right...??
Not so much. I went to the Consulate early this morning with all my documentation, gave it to the teller only to find out it will take 5 to 7 business days. WHAT!!!!! I FLY OUT NEXT MONDAY!!!! What all of the previous representatives forgot to mention to me was that they only process visa's in 3 days if there has been an emergency such as a death in the family or illness. FUCK!!! Pardon the language. I tried offering more money, then a little more money, then let a tear or two fall....No such luck in getting it any faster.
So, I may have to cancel Hawaii and start in Fiji. Oh wait...Fiji is recovering from massive flood damage, I may have to start in New Zealand.
AUUUGGG!!! Man I really don't know about this trip. As I found out about Fiji, I also heard that a cyclone just went through Bali and other parts of Indonesia killing 16 people....I'm getting the feeling I should have stayed on Cortes.
Sigh.....I really hope this isn't a sign of things to come.
Not so much. I went to the Consulate early this morning with all my documentation, gave it to the teller only to find out it will take 5 to 7 business days. WHAT!!!!! I FLY OUT NEXT MONDAY!!!! What all of the previous representatives forgot to mention to me was that they only process visa's in 3 days if there has been an emergency such as a death in the family or illness. FUCK!!! Pardon the language. I tried offering more money, then a little more money, then let a tear or two fall....No such luck in getting it any faster.
So, I may have to cancel Hawaii and start in Fiji. Oh wait...Fiji is recovering from massive flood damage, I may have to start in New Zealand.
AUUUGGG!!! Man I really don't know about this trip. As I found out about Fiji, I also heard that a cyclone just went through Bali and other parts of Indonesia killing 16 people....I'm getting the feeling I should have stayed on Cortes.
Sigh.....I really hope this isn't a sign of things to come.
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